12 Things Actors Should Know About Michael Johnston's Road to Obsession
Drawn from what is actually said on camera, so you can decide whether to
spend the 33:31 watching it.
Voiceover was his door into on-camera work
He found voice acting at 12 through a DVD called Adventures in Voice Acting, then met other beginners on internet forums and made YouTube videos with them. Every industry relationship he had started online, and it got him from rural North Carolina to LA at 18. His first on-camera audition came when his manager told him to treat it like a voiceover and just not look into the camera. He booked it.
His Zoom audition for The Mummy went badly: he did not know his lines, his laptop speaker was broken and his AirPods died, so he finished the scene unable to hear anyone. When they said goodbye, he asked to do it once more, pulled himself together and delivered. It was his first audition in a year, and he got the call.
He spent an hour on Zoom with director Curry Barker talking about thrillers and horror, and pitched Bear's psychology, including attachment theory and his own recent breakup. When he offered to read a scene, Barker declined. A chemistry read with every actress up for Nikki followed, and the booking call was so low key (send us your sizes) that he did not realize he had the part.
Obsession premiered at TIFF, and he expected it to go straight to streaming until Focus Features bought it for a wide theatrical release. He credits luck, talent, opportunity and preparedness together, and points out a great film can vanish by opening the wrong week. He is glad it happened at 30, saying the 21 year old him would have torn himself apart in the spotlight.
On an indie you get one take and wear several hats
They had three pieces of breakaway glass for one car scene, and one broke during setup, so they had two chances. Crew members covered several jobs, and he tracked his own blood continuity with photos while covered in it for about a month. On the studio film he now shoots one small scene all day from every angle, with as many takes as he needs. He loves both.
His conversations with Barker were mostly about the feeling they wanted in the theater, which was discomfort. As the point of view character, he knew the audience would buy the story only as much as he did. That kept every choice grounded.
He built Bear a backstory with parents who never taught him accountability, and defended every decision Bear made because you cannot play someone you hate. His favorite movie villains believe they are doing the right thing. He has since conceded Bear is the villain, but still plays him as a man in so much pain he thought getting this girl would fix everything.
The rule on set was to get what they needed, then try the best idea. Much of the scene where Bear makes his wish was improvised, and Bear trying to spit out the pills at the end was his idea, a last almost redeemable moment. Because they shot out of order, they would play a moment at a one, a five and a seven to keep options open.
He was in every scene, and the film is mostly Bear reacting to the next horrible thing, so he carried it home: shower, lie in bed, stare at the ceiling, remind himself it was not real. On set the technical horror moments were often funny, and he says you have to trust the director's vision that they will be scary once music and editing are added.
He went from reading off the page, to memorizing every word, to a middle ground: trust your own essence and do not lose sleep over a huge monologue. For a big, famous writer, learn it word for word. He also had a meeting recently where he embarrassed himself, and says falling on your face is part of the job at every stage of a career.
He spent about 13 years finishing one of two or three in tests, booked roughly five pilots and was replaced on some without explanation, and once got vaccinated for a role abroad before a Deadline article named someone else. He barely made rent for a decade. His lesson: you have to want it, and also let it go gracefully, and things start to come to you.
At a convention, half the Bear photos he was asked to sign were AI images, not him. He calls out the AI performer Tilly Norwood, whose creator boasted she can cry on camera, and answers that crying on cue is not what acting is. He thanks SAG-AFTRA for the work it is doing to protect performers, especially in voice.
This is an audience of your fellow actors, so I always like to start by asking, how did you get your SAG card? Now you started really young, so this might be, yeah, this might be hard. I'm looking to my friend because he probably might know more than I do. I don't remember. I don't remember what job got me my SAG card. I think it may have been, I think it was Teen Wolf. Really? I think it was, yeah. Wow, because you'd been working since you were like really young. I moved out here, yeah, I got into voiceover at 12 and I got my first paid job at 16. And I almost went to college a few places, but decided to just move out here at 18. And I think I got Teen Wolf when I was 19, so I believe that that was my, and I came out to LA to do voiceover. I didn't have the intention of becoming an on-camera actor at all. It was kind of an accident. Actually, my manager that I met randomly said, you should go audition for this horror film. I know you like horror, which I do, I love horror. And I said, I don't know, I'm nervous. I've never done on-camera really. I'd taken like a class, but that was it. And he said, just imagine like it's a voiceover. Just don't look into the camera. And I did, and I ended up getting that film, and I know it'll be resurfaced one of these days. It's a fun one. So your way in was voiceover, and I think you sort of discovered that it was a thing at a young age. Yeah. Yeah. I was just playing video games. I was playing Mortal Kombat on the GameCube or PlayStation 2 or something. There was a behind the scenes video. There's also another video that I wonder if any of you remember that was called Adventures in Voice Acting. It was a DVD, I remember. Anyway, it was just this DVD with all these actors doing video games and anime dubbing, and I just thought it was really cool. And I went on to the internet and found some forums and connected with some other beginner voiceover actors, and we just started making our little videos on YouTube. And all my relationships in the industry started on the internet, just like that, on forums. And I got my way all the way from rural North Carolina to LA. That's so cool. Yeah. That's amazing. Now I'm 30, and I came here when I was 18, 19. And you know, this movie premiered almost exactly a year ago at the Toronto Film Festival, I remember. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. So it's been like a crazy year. A year ago. Was there a moment you sort of knew that this film was resonating, or was there a favorite meme? Are you prepared to be a Halloween costume? I've seen ... Someone was downstairs wearing a bear shirt. What? Yeah, yeah. The shirt that he wears at the music store, which I didn't get to keep, I was so bummed about that. I kept many other things though, so it's okay. They were dressed as bears? Oh, yeah. Are they here? It happens all the time. Are you ... No. Is Bear here? I don't think so. But that's weird. I would think like, yeah, if they were coming here, that makes sense. Never in a million years did I think that our film, people would be dressed up as Bear and Nikki. I just didn't ... I never thought the film would be in a theater. And then when we went to TIFF, and the film premiered at the Royal Alexandra Theater, and I was with my family, and my dad was sitting to my side, and everyone loved it. But then I was in my head about it. I'm like, well, this is a film festival crowd, so they love horror, but maybe they're just being nice. So the next day, I remember just ... That was it. The film played, and I didn't know what was going on with the distributors trying to buy the film or anything. And then I got a call on Sunday from the director from Curry, and he said, Focus Features bought the film. And I was like, what does that mean? I think I may have said, does that mean it'll go straight to Netflix? I had no idea what I was talking about. I said, is it going to be in a theater? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, I can use my AMCA list? And he's like, yes, dude. I was like, oh my God, that's so cool. I was like, one theater? He's like, no, all of them. I'm like, really? I couldn't believe it. I had no idea. Do you still have AMCA list? I'm kind of a cheapskate. I think I deleted my membership. Yeah. I mean, because I'm not even here. I'm filming in London right now. I just feel a bit jet lagged. So yeah. Yeah. This is the difference in a year. You premiered this film a year ago, and now you're shooting with Oscar winners Rachel Weisz and Brendan Fraser, the mummy four. Yes. They're so lovely, and we're having so much fun. Yeah. We're off to the movies. We're off to the movies. We're off to the movies. We're off to the movies. We're off to the movies. We're off to the movies. We're off to the movies. gonna be great. I mean, is it surreal? You know, I just, I would think even at any age, you'd probably be like, my God, that's Brendan Frazier. Yeah. That's Brendan Fraser. Yeah, I love the mummy. Yeah. Yeah. So okay, when I was a kid, I'm still a kid. So okay, when I was a kid, I'm still a kid. When I was a younger kid, my sister and I did the floors lava, but we had our little So okay, when I was a kid, I'm still a kid. When I was a younger kid, my sister and I did the floors lava, but we had our little fake little plastic bugs and we pretended they were the scarabs. So we threw them onto the floor and jumped around. I loved the mummy. So that that call was crazy, too, because my audition was awful. Really? I read for I just read on zoom with the directors and producers and I just I didn't know my lines. I was tired. It was it was my my air pod my computer at the time my computer laptop speaker didn't work. My air pods died. And so I continued on with the scene not being able to hear them because I just I was just in my head about it. And afterwards, they were like, okay, good to meet you. And then I said, Can I just do like one more? And then I pulled myself together and I delivered the so yeah, but when I got that call, I, I pinched myself. Yeah, well, you know, I was gonna ask about the audition process, because I love that you had, you know, the peace of mind to ask for another take, some people would just be like, I blew that and get off, you must have gotten pretty good at auditioning over the years. Well, I got I mean, I miss going in the room. That's tough. Because that's how you that's how we used to get jobs at what you want, you're not going to be probably not going to be right for this job, but it's about meeting them. So you know, now it's just the taping and I don't know. And also that audition for the mummy that that happened to have been my first audition in a year. Wow. Yeah. What can you say when this was if I'm asking for the mummy? Yeah. When the audition was? Was it after the movie had come out? Yeah. After obsession, it would have been a few months ago. Wow. It's really quick. Oh, wow. Yeah. So what was it an audition process for obsession? Yes. Sorry. I was like, jetlag. Yeah, yeah. No. So I'll tell you about it. So I got the script. Actually, a friend of mine got the script and he told me about it. And I said, Oh, this sounds cool. I want to he's like, Yeah, I don't think I'm interested in the role. But you I could see you liking this. So my team sent me the script. I loved it. I got a meeting with curry on zoom. We talked for like an hour just nerding out about all the things we love about thrillers and horror and it went really well and I gave him my pitch on the character because I'm really into the psychology of it all and the attachment theory and I've just gone through a breakup and I was just ready to, to explore bears headspace and so Curry's like, Uh huh. Okay. I'm just like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he's like, Great, great. And I'm like, Okay, I'm ready to read my scene. And he's like, No, no, no. Like, please no. And so then next week, I went in and did a chemistry read with all the Nikki's and there were a few girls, they were all really wonderful. And Indy and I went, she was the last one and there was just something really kind of different about that energy that we shared and I didn't know in the room, but I found out that I got the role. It was a really unenthusiastic call. It was like, Yeah, so you know, send us your sizes, but I'm like, Huh? Like, and apparently, they were all all the producers and they were all like, really winking and we were like, Yeah, you and I'm like, I didn't know, I had no idea. I think they did. But it was very like, I think whoever told me I don't remember, but whoever told me thought that I already knew. So that was a great that was great. But you know, this was a tiny little indie film. I was really excited. The most the thing I was most excited about was other than liking the story that it filmed in North Hollywood. Yeah, that's I mean, come on, that's rare. It literally down the street from me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We did our thing shot for a month. It just we just we had fun. It was really intimate and had no expectation that this this whole thing would happen. And I'm just I don't know, I'm gonna go off the rails for a second because I was thinking about this last night. I was at this really wonderful party last night. And all these people who I've looked up to forever were coming up to me and giving me compliments. Cool. Oh, names. Come on. Coleman Domingo. And the it was the W Magazine ladies party and it was really lovely. I can't I don't know. Yeah. He's so cool. We had a good time. But you know, all these people are coming up to me and I can't help but thinking, you know, that this film the time it was a great film, but also the timing of it, too, because, you know, you can have a great film and just came out the wrong week. Yep. Or a different distributor and they just or like, I do know that our film almost went straight on to streaming, like, it was like, all right, it's like, that's what we thought was going to happen. So just a combination of all the things. It's just luck and talent, opportunity, preparedness, really, like I had, I had no idea. And I'm also glad that it happened to me now. You know, 30. If this happened to me when I was 21, I have some a few people sitting in the audience here who experienced 20, 21 year old me. It would have been insufferable. I don't think I would have been insufferable. But I think I just would have been a mess and torn myself apart. I don't think I would have been ready to, to deal with all the great things and the not so great things that come with being in the spotlight. I'm curious, because I'm working on something like Mummy 4, where like, the catering budget is probably bigger than the whole budget of obsession. I have to say this. It's not the Mummy 4. It's the Mummy Book of the Dead. The Mummy Book of the Dead. Not 4. We're not saying 4. Oh, sorry. But working on a big budget movie like that, where you know, like the catering budget is probably more than obsession cost. Is it still the same acting like, you know, do you like having that run and gun style where it's sort of down and dirty in North Hollywood versus flying to Morocco? I love it. I wish we had a little more of a budget. Because really, there were just, we ran out of time. Sometimes we only had one take. You guys remember the, the car scene? I don't know. I know it's really hard to remember that scene. I know. So that piece of glass that Indy broke with her head, we only, we had three. One of them broke while we were setting up the first take. We only had two chances. And if we didn't get it, we were gonna, we were like, what do we do, get some saran wrap and like, do some CG, like it was so, you know, but I love that. The adrenaline of it, you just kind of jump in. And also, I love how Curry style, what he did with obsession, the long kind of takes it kind of a lot of times it felt like theater. So I love that. But you know, the mummies like it's, it's that the whole thing is it's a machine, it's such a tight operation. And we, you know, we do, we do one little tiny scene all day and get every single angle. And that's just what you, that's, that's what you get with the studio film. And there's some wonderful things about that. I mean, you get to if you didn't like that performance, you get to do it again, many, many times you get the whole day to work it out. And and it's just it's a very different thing. And I'm so I'm so lucky to go from like one of the smallest little indie films to next year being on the biggest, biggest, did I say bitches? Bitches? Bitches? No, there's no bitchiness. I'm very also very fortunate for that. It's a wonderful crew. But one of the biggest budget productions. Yes, like my every day is like, so cool. You know, I'm not surprised that Curry came from an acting background, because the performances in this movie are so fantastic. What were you know, you had very active conversations with him, I believe about the character. Did you? Would you sort of developed it together? Or? Oh, yeah. So we had a lot of conversations beforehand. From my memory. It was almost always about what we wanted the audience to feel, which I think is the right question to ask. I mean, and so that's where we started. I knew we wanted it to be uncomfortable. And I knew that the being the point of view character that I was the audiences in so if I don't believe it, you don't believe it, or the as much as I buy it is as much as you'll buy it. So yeah, we just we talked about wanting to keep it really grounded. And I would say that he kind of let me do my own thing in a lot of ways when it came to the psychology of the character. So I, I spent a lot of time thinking about his backstory and how his parents raised him to not really know how to be accountable for anything. And, you know, he's a product of the whole scrolling generation and, you know, the friends are awful. And so we talked about it a bit. But what I remember from the script was, it wasn't really in the script. It was all kind of a conversation and a feeling a lot of it, we, it was just really wonderful Curry and Indy and Cooper and everyone in the in the producer Haley and everyone, Megan, we all just kind of read it and it came out, right. And we're like, yeah, this is it. And we'd feel it. We just we didn't, we didn't talk about it too much. We obviously have a lot of questions. I'm sure you've talked about this stuff, you know, about Bear being the true villain of the piece. But when you're playing someone, you have to kind of empathize with them. Yes. I mean, you can, when I first came out doing these, I'm like, Bear's not the villain. And the reason why I think I said that is because I'm playing him and I have to make it real and I have to, I have to take every decision that he makes and make it like an excuse and just thank you. Thank you. Thanks for. No, I needed that. Thank you. I had to justify everything that he did. And so I was very protective of him. Like you, it wouldn't be fun to act in a role and hate yourself and think like I'm a shitty person and my best, my favorite movie villains, they, they think that what they're doing is it's the right thing to do. But I will say, I don't really think Bear has any sense of what's right or wrong. I think he just, he's in so much pain that he thought that getting this girl would fix everything and he could avoid, he just avoids everything. So that's all I'd focus on. But now after getting torn apart by comments on the internet, when I said Bear wasn't the villain and having my own integrity questioned, I'm happy to just say, sure, he's the villain. But I also think Ian's the villain because he set up Bear to fail. Come on, dude. Oh my God. Oh my God. Ian is terrible. Yeah. Oh God. Call her Freaky Nikki. Like, yeah. She'll love that. And was he trying to get Bear to, like, at first I was like being generous and thinking maybe he's trying to get Bear to admit his feelings so that, you know, Nikki can let him down gently. And I'm like, maybe he's just a dick. He wanted to see his buddy fail. Cause I think that the, he, underneath all of it, they're on this on and off again kind of relationship. In my mind, we'd never really talked too much about it, but I'm thinking that they were kind of off and maybe they'd just gotten in a fight. And so, you know, maybe he, maybe he thought Bear might actually have a chance. I don't know. But he wanted to see his buddy fail. He set him up to fail for sure. There were just a lot of factors that went into it. Like Bear, Bear just, he's a poor dude. Maybe I shouldn't say this and cut this out if I'm going to get attacked on the internet. But one of the reasons that I think Bear is so scary and relatable is it's, it's almost like a there, but for the grace of God, go I, you know, it's like, who hasn't had that moment where they're like, I do anything to make this person interesting. Absolutely. And I can relate to that. And I also just think that one thing to keep in mind is that Bear dug his dug himself into a hole and he didn't think anybody was watching and he didn't think there was any way out of it. And at this point, like it didn't matter. And it sucks that he's just not a higher frequency person. But yeah, no, he, he never considered, I think he loves his friends and I think he loved Nikki, but I just don't think that he even has the brain power to process what they're going through. He's processing what he's going through. And so that's what I played him with. And I think that's what people resonated with. And it's been so wonderful to hear all the different takes. And it's really interesting when I get people come up to me and say, I loved Bear. I thought you were, I don't get the hate. And then it's really interesting. I have a great story. I was at a cafe, just minding my own business, sitting in the back, faced away from the window, trying to get some reading done. And in the booth behind me, a girl and her mom sat down and this is what I heard. I loved it. Now, I think he was awful and he was just terrible. She's like, yeah, but like, he didn't know it was going to, you know, yeah, he made some bad choices, but like, you know, I know plenty of guys that would have done that. And she's like, well, I think he's awful. And I got to say, that actor must have been really struggling to take a job like that. I don't know why he would take that job. He'll never work again. And so I'm sitting there and I figured, I'm like, oh, they're talking about obsession. So I'm like cracking up. And then the young one gets up to go to the young one, the lady gets up to go to the bathroom and she comes back and she saw me. And I hear this like, oh my God. And then they both walk up to the table and the mom goes, I thought you were great in that movie. It was amazing. But she did, because you, you convinced her. See? So, yeah. No, no, genuinely, my mom, earlier when I said it was like, she saw some interviews with you and she's like, oh, he's a very good actor. He seems like such a nice young man. So that's exactly what my grandma said. Well, we actually have a question from Yvonne. This is sort of on the topic, but Yvonne here, she met, oh, okay. Wants to know, is Bear horrified by what he has done to Nikki or by the fact that getting what he wanted doesn't make him happy and approach that distinction? No, he's, he's horrified by getting what he wanted, didn't make him happy. But what I would even add to that is that I, I truly don't even think that he, I don't think he's like, oh, I thought I wanted this, but I'm not happy. I don't even think he's that aware. I think he, because as you can see, he, he wanted to redo his wish. He didn't want to undo it. He wanted to redo it. He wanted to fix it. He still wanted her. You're right. Even after the duct tape on the door, especially after the duct tape on the door. I know you're working on a budget, but was there room to be here? Yes. Well, it's a non-profit, so yes, but was there room for improvisation? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. We, we would always get what we, what we needed to get first. And if we had time or if something was just a little clunky or even more so indie filmmaking, like, oh, we have to leave this location and this one's not going to work out or whatever the case was. It was very much a best idea situation. And it was just really fun. Yeah. I've said this a million times. It felt like that dream of making a cool movie in the backyard with your friends, but with a big budget and, and talent, like, but no, there were, there were a lot of moments in the film where we tried things like some of my favorite moments are in the wind bear makes the wish. There's a, that's, it's one of my favorite scenes in the film. You know, I'm like laughing and like, what, what's going on? She comes around the car and she's being silly and what are you doing and gets in the car. A lot of that was improvised. Really? Yes. And then, you know, there'd be times where Indy would do things and I, I didn't know what she was going to do. She would try one thing and then try something else. We would dial it up, do like, we'd do it at a one, a five, a seven, because we didn't know we're shooting all out of order. We didn't know how we wanted it to come out. So it was fun for me to just kind of discover in the moment what she was going to do. And my favorite one is at the end with the, the pills, it was, it was my idea to have Bear actually try to spit the pills out at the end because that was his one almost redeemable moment and he still didn't go through with it. And I thought that was a beautiful button for his cute little story. Well, that's what's so interesting is like, you know, people, people say, oh, Bear did a terrible thing, but in another universe, this is the start of a rom-com. Yeah. Right. And you sort of get your rom-com moment at the end when they see each other. Yes. Oh, we, and we knew, we knew what we were doing with that. I think we even played some music. It was, it was lovely. Um, yeah, that, that was really fun. We were cracking up. We did that a bunch of times. I was wondering if there was like a lot of laughter on this. Holy shit. You have to have laughter on a set like this. It's just so depressing. Yeah. I carried this home with me, you know, cause I was in every scene. So, um, we'd shoot for 12 hours or something. I don't know. I'm not trying to get them in trouble with sag time cards or anything, but you know, like, you know, sometimes you make an indie film, you're like, all right, I get, we're going to do what we got to do. We're going to get the shot. We're going to get it done. Right. And that's what I love about it. And um, yeah, we, I just lost the question. This is a jet lag. It just got me. What were we talking about? I get jet lag so bad. It's not even funny and I don't even have an excuse. So I'm actually, you just have it. Yeah. I feel like I have jet lag. I haven't flown in a month. Sorry. Perpetual jet lag. Uh, no, you were talking about how you had to have fun on set. You had to laugh. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we did. We had to laugh because I, I carried that shit home with me. Um, there's no way to turn for, for bear and his head space and basically the whole film is just me reacting to the next horrible thing. I would just go home and take a shower and lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and had to snap out of it and be like, wait, it's not real. I'm like actually really happy in my life. It's okay. You know, I love that though. I love to suffer. Yeah. For the art. Yeah. I mean, some of the, some of the things that Indy is doing as a character, they're absolutely terrifying when you see them on screen, but in the moment they could almost be kind of funny. Oh, they're hilarious. Yeah. No, we're all, I mean, especially in a film when you're doing the horror stuff is just very technical and um, you know, it's not really dark. That's all in post. You know, it's not, there's no music and there's no editing there. There wasn't much, I don't think there, there was very little CGI in this film at all. It was very practical, but um, you know, even still, if you just imagine her like standing up in the corner and walking back, we were cracking up and more, more than anything like freaking out. Like, is this really going to be scary? I mean, that's what I think anyone who's ever made a horror film, you're like, is this really going to be scary? So, um, you just kind of have to, in those moments, the technical horror moments, you really have to have faith in the director's vision. Um, and just, you know, we got, I got so lucky with Curry Barker. I mean, he's had, and you know, it might have been his first real, uh, I mean, he did Milk and Cereal on YouTube. He did his, uh, like feature that he released on the internet, but this is his first like real film on set and everything, but he's made a hundred films online. So we, we just got really lucky. He had all that trial and error process and he knows how to make people uncomfortable. So you mean on screen? On screen. Yeah. No, he's, he's like, he's like a, he's a cool dude and he doesn't make me, he never made me uncomfortable. I don't know. I thought like motivating. No, I know. I'm kidding. I was trying to go for some type of joke, but it didn't work. It's fine. Um, but no, uh, he, I didn't know how funny the film was going to be though. I had no idea. I'm sitting in the audience and people are laughing at my misfortune. That's what it felt like. I was a little pissed off because I'm like thinking like, yeah, my character, but also like I was also suffering during that moment as well. Well how many days, like I'm thinking of the, uh, the final scene, like you're covered in blood and I don't know if you chop that all in one day. I wouldn't be surprised. Oh hell no. I was covered in blood for like a month away. The, the, like whatever the, I'm, this is terrible, I should know this, but like, you know how script supervisor keeps everything. The person who did the continuity with your blood deserves huge kudos. Well, I think we, so it was a kind of a mix of people. I think we eventually had a continuity person and, uh, but for a lot of it we, we didn't and it would be just like the costumer doing the costumes and then, and then the, our makeup artist did like everything she did, the, she, she would bring in some help, but like she did the effects and the makeup, like she, she, it was just, it was a small film, you know? Um, but I don't want to throw it. There were other people there around too, but there, you know, there were a lot of people doing, wearing multiple hats. Um, but I did some of it too. I mean, I, I would, I would, I trimmed myself up and I made sure that things were the same and I, I would be, I'd be checking and taking pictures. We all worked together doing it on an indie film and, um, but I do that too. This is just a weird thing with me. I'm huge about continuity, so I'll be on the mummy and be like, hold on. That's just, that's just OCD. So we're all going to be on the lookout for that now. Yeah. Oh God, no, I don't need the internet to pick me apart for my continuity. Um, what is next? I mean, you're doing the mummy, this is, this is, you know, changed your career, changed your life. Um, but do you, it seems like you didn't mind auditioning. You were actually okay with that? I, yeah, I mean, I liked it and I'm still doing it, um, but not as much, but, um, no, I, I, it's, it's a love, hate thing, you know, especially this day and age where you send off stuff and you usually don't hear anything back. But, um, my mindset with auditioning has, um, evolved. Um, I used to really like it and I didn't do a ton of work and just kind of read off the page and say, you know, they, they know it's not really a thing. And then I went through the whole, like, I need to know every single word and be the most prepared one. And now I'm kind of somewhere in between where I've learned to trust my own essence. I know what I want to bring to this, but, um, I don't need to kill myself and not get sleep to try to learn a huge monologue. You know, you don't have to, you don't have to be perfect. You just want to focus on the truth and it depends on the role. There's going to be some somewhere, you know what, you're, you're reading a big famous writers. You better just learn the thing. Let's just learn the thing. But then sometimes it's okay to just kind of feel it out. And also you have to be okay with just failing and falling on your face. I'm going to tell you something. I had a meeting the other day. Um, and I'm not gonna say when, like recently with, um, a wonderful person in Hollywood and I fell on my face. It was just not a good day. I embarrassed myself. It was so bad. It reminded me of like the early days and I'm like, damn it, I still have to do this. I still have to like, oh man, I just screwed up so bad. It's just part of it. It doesn't matter where you are in your career. You just have to embrace it. Look like a fool. Uh, we have a question from James Nichols, the second back there in the shadows. Hey, um, did you ever have a moment in your career when you wanted to quit and who or what inspired you to continue? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Um, I don't know if I actually would have quit cause I don't, I'm not really qualified to do anything else, but, um, but, uh, I, I've been through some hard, times. I mean, you know, just like barely being able to pay the rent for 10 years. And, um, you know, uh, I would say a specific moment. Um, I think they're just really hard, big disappointments. You thought something was going to go your way. I've got, I've gotten to the, I got to places where I got the offer and was really excited and it was like, it's like so much money or just like, oh, you're going to move to a new country. And like, you're going to, and I was getting, getting vaccinated and everything. And then all of a sudden deadline article comes out and someone else has the role. Like, so I've been there. Um, and then, you know, I got, I mean, I've been in the room where you're testing and you get really, really close and it's like, you're, you're one of three, you're one of two, you're one of three, you're one of three, you're one of three. And, um, I carried that for doing that for 13 years. And I think you just, if you're getting that close, then you've got it. You just got to keep going. That's all it is. Yeah. It's frustrating, but it also means if you're getting that close, it's a matter of time. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. But there's also this thing where I'm looking at myself thinking like, is there a reason why, um, I had booked like five pilots in the last few years and either I got, cause I've been replaced from, I've been replaced from shows and with no, and you never know why they never tell you why you don't, they're like, we love you so much. Thank you. And go home. It's like, you never know why they don't, they don't tell you. And so I had to ask myself, is there a reason why I'm not the one that they're going with? And you'll never really know, but I do think that you have to want it, but you also have to gracefully let it go. And I think when you really just live your life that way in general, things really do start to come to you. And also the universe was waiting for you to be 30. So you, that's it. 30. I can finally grow out something on my face. So that you would handle it better. Absolutely. That's what it is. Well, the good news is they can't replace you in this. Um, and I, and, and my mom was telling me when Obsession came out and was in the theaters, like she was still like, they could replace you. Like be, yeah. She's like, she's like, they could still replace you in the international version. I'm like, thanks mom. Look, I know. Are we, I don't know. Do we, are we out of time? I've got to say, I got to say, this is a message to the world. What the is going on with AI? Let me tell you, I, okay. I was at a convention doing signing stuff. Half the things I signed of my art for bear were not me. They were AI bear. What? Like photos. Yeah. The photos from Obsession was like AI. Yeah, absolutely. Wasn't even me like on t-shirts and signing t-shirts and signing. Like what is going on with this whole it's crazy. That is. Yeah. And then all the news outlets, like they report on, on movies and it's all AI. I think they just like put it into a, it's, it's crazy to me. Well, especially it's coming from the voice world. Oh, don't, that's, we can't even get started on AI in the voice world. I know. It's scary. There are, there are so many wonderful people at SAG in SAG-AFTRA that are doing the Lord's work when it comes to that, but, and you know, so thank you for doing it. That could be your next horror movie. Yeah. Being replaced by AI. Actually, actually there is a movie. There's got to be so many AI films coming out now. I know it's scary. Yeah. Yeah. But you can tell, you can tell that the soul is not there. What was it? Tilly, Tilly Norwood. Yeah. Give me a break. Yeah. I barf on you. Tilly Norwood. She's got a movie role. Disgusting. I'm sure she does. Good luck. My favorite thing was that was her creator, whatever was like, she's so good. And if you need to cry on camera, she can. I'm like, that's not what acting is. Did you see what she started saying? Did you see what she started speaking Mandarin? Yeah. There's an interview where they're interviewing her and she just started speaking Mandarin. Yeah. Yeah. And she's acting like it makes perfect sense. Yeah. It was Piers Morgan. That's right. Look it up. It's, it's pretty great. Glorious. Well, again, thank you so much for being here. Congratulations. And, and, and, and, and, and, um, AI, if you do, um, come to life, I'm so sorry. I always say I, for one, welcome our robot overlords. Technically on the record. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks everybody. Thank you.
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