How One Text Message Got Me a New Manager (When I Wasn't Even Looking for One)

Hello. Just going to go on Instagram. Go. There we are. Okay. So, today I want to tell you a story about a text message. One text. I didn't pitch anything. I didn't ask for anything. I didn't attach my headshot or a link to my reel. It was just a check-in with an old friend that I had lost touch with. That text turned into a new manager. And 2 weeks later I had a new agent. It was just like a kind of a snowball effect to a whole new team. And I want to be clear about something before I tell you the whole story. I wasn't not even looking for a manager. I already had one. I was kind of vaguely thinking about finding a new agent someday, but it wasn't even like on my list of things to do for this quarter, right? That's not what the text was about at all. The text was just, "It's been a long while. It's been a long time since we connected. Like, how are you doing? What's new? What's going on with you? I want to catch up. I'm thinking about you." And right now with this new team, I'm seeing more opportunities than I have in years. Clip that. I am telling you this story today for a very specific reason. Because I think most actors have a completely wrong picture of how careers actually move. We tend to think it's linear. We do this thing, we get a result. Right? Whether it's like we submit for the role or our agent submits for the role, we book the role or we reach out to the agent, we sign with the agent. Or we do this short film, we get more visibility and get an agent, right? And when that when like those dots don't connect, when we don't get the result that we want, we think that we failed. But that's not how some of my biggest career shifts have happened at all. And it's not how it happens for most of the actors that I work with, either. For most of my clients, the real pattern is kind of strange and it's actually much better. And once you see it, it changes what you spend your time doing. This is episode 25 of Powerhouse Conversations. How one text message got me a new manager when I wasn't even looking for one. So, let's get into it. Um so, let me just back up and set this up properly. Last round of the Fearless 21, which is my 21-day outreach challenge, I did the process right alongside the actors that I was leading, right? I had my own list, I did my own reach outs. I did my own 21 days, they were a whole thing. Um because I don't teach anything that I'm not willing to do myself and I really believe in this process and I'm so glad that I did because it was amazing. And so, one of my reach outs was tiny. It was like genuinely tiny. There's this manager who I made YouTube videos with about 10 years ago. They're still on the YouTube channel. They got They've gotten so many views, so many people have found them so helpful. But it was about how you like connect with a manager, how you get the attention of a manager, that kind of thing. And we just had lost touch. I don't think I think we had connected sooner than 10 years ago, but not since before COVID. Um I think we just had lunch to catch up like before COVID and the world shut down then like he moved like whatever. I just hadn't connected with him since then. And you know, this is just the way things go with people. People are busy. People there's not like a falling out or any drama. There's just life, right? And you can probably think of a million people that this has happened to with that you think of them as friends but you haven't actually connected with them in a long time. So, one of the items on my outreach list was just a check-in text to him. I wasn't asking for anything. I wasn't like pitching him on anything. I just wanted to know how are you doing? It's been a while. And he was so happy to hear from me, right? Like you probably would be if some random friend reached out to you and just just cuz I'm thinking about you and I want to check in, right? And we scheduled lunch. So, I get to his office for our lunch and he's waiting in the lobby um, with two other managers from his company who I had never met. And he introduces me and instead of heading out to lunch, we all end up in this conference room in their office just talking. And I'm telling you, it was so nice. Like 90 minutes just flew by. I'm reconnecting with my friend. I'm feeling like I'm making two new ones. You know, we're just like chatting. And I'm hearing about how much his company has grown since our YouTube days and it's just a genuinely great conversation between people who like each other. We never even made it to lunch. Clip that. Toward the end my friend asked me "So, Ash Ray, how can I help you?" And I want to pause on this moment because I had not walked in with an ask. I wasn't asking for anything. That was the whole point of the reach out. I wasn't there to get something at all. But when someone genuinely offers, like I had to even think about it and I was like, "Oh, you know, you're allowed to answer honestly." So, I mentioned, cuz I had an a manager, I mentioned that I was kind of on the lookout for a new agent. I was thinking about, you know, expanding my team. And I asked if there was anyone that he loved to work with who might be a good fit for me. And he thought for a minute and he he named one person and he was like, "Oh, he's going to love you. You know, I'm going to connect you guys. Like just I'll shoot an email." So, I left that meeting on cloud nine. I was like, "Okay." Just from the connection itself, cuz the conversation was great, but also like I had an agent referral and I wasn't even really looking for it and that's so great, right? Then, that night he texts me and he's like, "The two managers from the meeting are interested in repping you." And I'm like, "What?" He's like, "So, if you're interested in new management, I know you're you know, send me your stuff." And here's the thing, right? I already had a manager. I had been focused on finding an agent, sort of. A new manager was not on my list. It was not the goal. It was not the plan. But, after a connection like that, like where we we were really vibing. And so, I was open. So, I sent my stuff. We had a real meeting and had a new manager. It was great. So excited, right? Two weeks later, another friend connected me with her agent and I had a new agent, too. Great. A brand new team that's working so well for me. Working better for me than any team that I've had in years, quite frankly. And none of it None of it came from the door that I thought I was knocking on. It came because I knocked at all. Clip that. So, let's break down what actually happened there. Right? Because it's tempting to hear that story and be like, "Oh, well, that's nice for you. You got lucky. Like, you happened to know a manager." But, look closer at what happened here. I didn't actually get the thing that I was aiming at, at least not at first. I was thinking about agents. Universe handed me a manager. I reached out with zero agenda. And the opportunity came from a direction that I wasn't even like watching. And this is the pattern. This is what I see all the time. And this is the thing that I need you to understand about how consistent outreach actually works. The results are almost never the ones that you planned. They're usually better. - [snorts] - And they almost always come from a door that you weren't knocking on. Something that you weren't expecting. Clip that. I've watched this happen over and over with actors that I worked with. That I work with. One actor did her 21 days of outreach. And a casting director she reached out to did something that she never asked for, referred her to a manager. Phone meeting on the calendar. She wasn't looking for a manager either. So, you see the pattern here, right? Another actor who did the challenge reconnected with a screenwriter, just a reconnection. That screenwriter is now attaching a producer to a film that he wants her to star in. Star in. She did not pitch herself for anything. She just reconnected. You knock on the doors you can see, and then the doors that you can't see start opening around you. Clip that. So, why does it work this way? I thought a lot about this. Um here's my best explanation. When you reach out with an ask, the person on the other end can only respond to the ask, right? You've narrowed that entire interaction down to I have this one question. I want you to help me in this one specific way. And then there's the yes or no answer. Will you rep me? Will you give me this audition? Right? And most of the time, for reasons that have nothing to do with you, the answer is no or you just don't hear back at all. But, when you reach out as a human being with no ask, the interaction stays wide open. The other person gets to bring whatever they have to the table. You know, their colleagues, their new company, their project that needs someone exactly like you, their friend who's looking for someone. So, you've created space for possibilities that you literally could not have known to ask for. That's why the reach out with no agenda is is not a soft passive move. It's actually the most expansive move you can make. The specific ask closes the doors down to just one little thing. And the connection, the authentic connection, the authentic curious connection opens doors that you didn't know existed. Clip that. Now, here's where I need to be honest with you because I can already hear the responses to this story. Um Okay, Ajayi. I'm going to send a a text to an old friend this week, right? And then you do it, and it might turn into a lovely coffee or something and but nothing else, and then you'll conclude that this doesn't work. Here's the thing. My manager story was one reach out out of 21 days of them. And I just went hard, and I was doing like five reach outs a day, right? I didn't make it to five every single day, but that was my goal. So, I didn't send one magic text. I ran a process. I made my list. I did my reach outs day after day. Most of them were not something that I would tell in a story like this, right? Nice replies, warm reconnections, a few non-replies. That's totally normal. That's the process working. The manager offered an income from like the best reach out on my list or the most scary reach out, right? It came from the process of doing all of them. Because here's the truth about this kind of process is that you cannot predict what's going to lead to some sort of exciting outcome. The reach out you think is most promising might not go anywhere. And the one you almost didn't bother with might change your entire year or your entire career or whatever. So, the only way to get the predictable wins is volume plus consistency plus time. That's it. You just knock on all the doors that you can see, that you can think of, warmly, genuinely, with no agenda, and you let the math work itself out. Clip that. And, you know, this is exactly why most actors will never have the kind of experience that I'm describing is that um no one does this. People don't do this. Doing this for 21 straight days is harder than it sounds. It's not physically hard, but it's like emotionally hard, right? Around day three, the fear shows up. Like, oh god, who am I Who do I think I am? Why am I doing this? Am I annoying these people? Why would this person want to hear from me? Around day eight, if you did have an early win, that excitement can derail you cuz you stop doing the process and you start being like, "Okay, it's working. Great. I can stop, right?" The doubt arrives somewhere in the middle when you've sent 15 reach outs and nothing's happening and you're like, "I'm wasting my time." Almost everyone who quits quits in that period of the doubt, right? And they quit right before the wins would have started arriving. Because those things, those referrals, those offers, those "Keep me posted on everything you do" messages, they they lag behind the reach out, always. So, if you don't know that, you interpret your empty inbox or whatever or no replies as failure and then you stop. But if you do know it or expect that, you keep going. And that's the difference between actors who are able to finish the process and actors who just abandon it. So, here's what I want to offer to you. This Thursday, August 13th, and you can get the class on demand after that, but I'm teaching a free live class called 21 Days to Wanted. It's happening 10:00 a.m. Pacific, 1:00 p.m. Eastern, live on Zoom, right? Um it's going to be 60 minutes and it's a real class and work session. This is not a webinar where you can't see anybody else and you just I'm talking into the void. Like, no, we're going to be together. Hopefully you'll have your camera on and um we can actually interact and I'll walk you through the full 21-day process including the four stages I just described to you, the fear, the excitement, the doubt, and the wanted moments. What each one feels like, why people get stuck in each one, and what gets you through. And you know, I based this whole process on what I learned from a Hollywood producer of 30 years who still deals with the exact same fear that you feel. And um we'll also have four actors who completed this 21-day process there sharing their stories with you. And they'll tell you the truth. They'll tell you about their wins, but they'll also tell you about the hard parts. And, you know, and it's completely free. If you can't make it live during that time, register anyway. I will send you the recording. But come live if you can because then you'll make sure you actually do the class and we can actually talk and all that good stuff. So, that link is if you're watching this on Instagram, it's in the link in in my bio. If you're watching this on YouTube, it's in the description. Facebook is in the description. So, save your seat. Register now. Um and I'll see you there. Clip that. All right, so let's let's open it up to questions. Uh if you have questions about my story, if you have questions about the outreach, if you have questions about the process or the class, whatever, all of it's welcome. Let me know what's on your mind. Um I'm just going to check in. Um love it. Okay, so here's what I want to leave you with. The difference between chasing and being wanted is huge. And it feels totally different. Chasing is asking the industry to pick you. Being wanted is reaching out like a human being consistently, so the industry starts coming to you. In ways that you can't predict and and in ways that you don't control. You can't decide which door answers, right? You can absolutely decide how many doors you knock on and how you show up when the door opens. One text got me a manager that I wasn't looking for. Not because the text was special, but because I was running a process that had me sending these things at all, right? So, come to the class on Thursday and I'll I'll you the whole thing. The link is right there in the description. And your next round of wanted moments birth right now. Click that.